Masochist to which I cater

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh if someone had told me in 12 (+++) long years of Catholic indoctrination that one day I'd 'witness' for Jesus Christ, the laughter would have been unpleasant.

At least shocked. Not to mention that my very first fiance was the same guy who made a forced, disgraceful exit from hallowed halls of private education for his vocal disavowal of the teachings of Theology. LMAO. His proudest moment other than .... Fond memories. Better memories:

Stripping out of that fucking uniform in his car to change in to REAL clothes. And, we never did it despite all that neckidness. I was a GOOD GIRL. And, the rest is nunya. The fun part. LOL.

Catholics DO NOT witness. We wear tiny, golden crucifixes tucked discreetly between our pert breasts ... others like to scream that shit out. Not so much. It so suited my innate longing for separateness and privacy to bear out discretion in familial and religious beliefs. (I always have to laugh at the frigging, rotating symbols -- or the stern disavowal of any belief at all (oh yeah? Make dirt) just get yourself a gd neon flamingo, bb)

God is not IN those fucking churches. He's DEFINITELY NOT in Catholic schools. Some wretched bastards are but ... Jesus won't make an appearance until you look for him or let him talk to you. (not QUITE in the way georgie talks to his god)

LOL

And, sometimes ... when you're running like a triathlete, running HARD after something else, shirking your purpose .. jesus christ himself will step right down in your path and clothesline your ass. That's it. Once you recover ... do what the fuck you were sent here for. That's the message.

Do what you're HERE for.

Are you HERE for what you're doing??

A worthy question.

RULEZ of engagement: LOVE EVERYONE. That's it. One simple rule. Or your ass will get clotheslined. I'm just sayin ....

The fundy bastards (disguising their DEEP, DEEP ties to gambling, huuures (as my Brit grandma would put it) and every kind of Trafficking I can think of have stolen your church. BUT, they can't STEAL YOUR GOD.

I hesitate to 'name' god. I'm not sure anymore where the recovering Catholic and the person who knows what the fuck is going on blends. The edges are all blurry. Never been that important to me. Like decency it just WAS. ever as and ever will be. You know.

Having had every church I've ever KNOWN OF hijacked to some weird science bitches and shit ... I remember that we called god Jesus Christ and spelled it with a capital G and such. You do what you want. It's all good. But, don't think for a minute that you can deny that god exists. Well, you can deny it. But, in the end --- and some of you might have to go right on up to the IV bottle and the backless gowns before you admit it ... you AIN'T runnin the show.

That you're trying is LAUGHABLE. When you grow up with the grandest manipulators that God ever saw fit to put on the planet you beginners are really no match. You can't HOPE to be. I've been carrying all this great stuff around all my short life never knowing I'd really need it ... but, it's waiting for me. Always feeling spoiled. To whom much is given ......

You know why? Because I have the inescapable faith that whatever I need I possess. Not because I have some huge gang and an SUV and a bunch of friends who drive firetrucks and deathboxes but because what I have is .... B E T T E R.

Yeah, I could have been ANYBODY but long about a dozen or more years ago Jesus Christ saw fit to show himself to me in the form that the Catholic Church taught me to expect to see him in. I know I've written about this before but today I kept listening to Bother .... Corey Taylor .... my little filthy-mouthed prophet. Couple lines in particular ... Stones to throw at my Creator .... masochist to which I cater ....

I love/hate some churches. From an artistic, historic and architectural viewpoint not only are they IMPORTANT structures but they are (or WERE til the weird science bitches took over with their security guards and other bitches at the helm) places of beauty, calm, privacy and comfort for some, sometimes.
I love stained glass, I love wood, I love the idea of a mass of people with a purpose and air of good.

I never, EVER did find God there, as a destination kind of deal. I find him/her/it whenever I need him. In you. In me. Wherever I look. I can't imagine and don't WANT TO what other folks see when they look around. I get the feeling they see themselves reflected in their SUVs and their shiny shit they cart around or whatever. I'm not even LOOKING THERE.

Whatever you're seeing, it's not in my program, see?

But today, my god wanted me to tell you (or maybe it was JUST ME, nope it's NEVER just me)... he's NOT IN THOSE CHURCHES> The churches were convenient places to organize the Democratic vote. I look upon the
pedophile problem with the Catholic Church as a multi-faceted takeover bid. Sure, there were some real pedophiles. I've met a TON of Catholic priests and I can only think of two that had pedophile possibilities. I can think of five, maybe ten that were probably gay. So what? I mean, on the gay.

The takeover of the Catholic Church was more about removing the assets of the Catholic Church, knocking out the power structure and having folks desert their churches. By the time they turned back around to get their church and their church family back the weird science bitches had moved in. With these sick smiles they'd let you know that it was TOO LATE. And, gradually, at least in Tampa, ALL of the churches but a few have been turned into something very different.

Oh, but they're still organizing a vote.

Which leads me to what I loathe about churches. That GOP-OGRE coziness and meanness they exude presently and that churches lavish all that money on self and vestries. DISGUSTING. Also disgusting is that they will not serve as shelters during crisis nor have a regular program to REALLY help the homeless and downtrodden. It would be so easy to do.

Instead you get fundy outfits who are funneling money through illicitly, scraping off ten for them and fitty cent for the hungry family ....


So, you don't have your church anymore.

But you have you:

Don't MOURN. ORGANIZE.

God wasn't there anyway.

But he IS.

And, yeah, I have continued to be aware of his/her/it's presence in so many more ways. Deeply private occurrences which I may make passing reference to but won't ever fully divulge in this venue.
It lends a great deal of foresight which is handy but not well-appreciated by some. True evil has no real effect on me; it brushes by me and it's almost a gelatinous feel. With the good it's like cool, clear, soft, soothing water.

I believe that there IS a reason for everything. There is only one thing that I haven't really figured out in this life. But, that same pain is also the provider of so much help and comfort that I'll never know until eternity just how much. I've got more patience than anything else when it comes to matters of the heart or the theater of the mind.
As you may conjecture I am approached by a number of evil bastards. LOL. I try to hug them all. They think that they rub off ON ME but I'm pretty sure that my stuff is MORE POWERFUL.

I think I have something to say sometimes and then it's a jumble of ... what I've seen and felt around me. There is so much evil in the world today but there is STILL so much good.

They had a good plan. Not perfect. Not going to work.

It's going to take ALL OF US to stand up and demand our country and our love and our life back.

Mega-churches are more like prisons than churches.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh like i said, maybe you'll have to take my word for it for awhile. If you seek you really will find.
In my case I was running as fast in the other direction as I could possibly go ...
always a good person but not so much worried about promoting the idea of a god and endless, nonjudgmental love.

Helter skelter hot girl meets sweet jesus christ on a wire.

And, there you have it.


Do what you want with it.
Here's the deal: I'm probably the most honest person with the balls to SAY IT that you'll ever KNOW.

So ....

What's that they say??

Watch the fuck out for the person who is after something with no self-agenda.

That would be me.

The kid with the mirror at the end of the hall. How ya lookin?

Everything prepares you for that moment. The moment you make the difference.

FIRST PERSON who actually grabs a pair and SPEAKS ___ WINS.

(LOL on that image)

For my beloved: ( ... um, you're WRONG, it's NOT YOU)




I miss you so fucking much that .... it feels good sometimes. A whole new level.
Almost holy. Sardonic laughter.

It's okay. I know we'll be home soon. Love you so much.


I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

kdoll, if you're reading ... I heard a's song last night sometimes you don't even realize even while you're singing along... made me laugh and cry. Love you !!!


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"This Act (the Federal Reserve Act, Dec. 23rd 1913) establishes the most gigantic trust on earth. When the President (Woodrow Wilson) signs the Bill, the invisible government of the Monetary Power will be legalised... The worst legislative crime of the ages is perpetrated by this banking and currency Bill."
Charles A. Lindbergh, Sr.

CRUCIAL ACTION: Contact the House Judiciary Committee and Nancy Pelosi TODAY. Don't wait. One click. The momentum is on our side and the world is watching. Bush cronies WORLD WIDE declaring martial law. Nation of GA, Pakistan, Burma ... Mexico's election illegal and then the flooding. GETTING THEM OUT OF THERE IS AN EMERGENCY. Believe this. And help a country out here.
ADD ON: The Sunroof, teenage, bomb, blast, gunshot, LIES pertaining to the MURDER of Benazir Bhutto.

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text "CHENEY" to 30644 to impeach him first, or text "BUSH" to 30644 to impeach him first, or text "BOTH" to 30644 if you think it would be strategically wise to go for the double play

The heart has it's reasons which reason knows nothing of.
*
We know truth, not only by reason, but also by the heart.
Blaise Pascal

Here's the last 25 messages on the Impeach Cheney matter
No Excuses : Email any rep in the country. Go ahead. They have to answer you; it's what you pay them for. Compel them to uphold their oath to protect the Constitution of the United States of America.

The lie was dead
And damned, and truth stood up instead.
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ANOTHER BUSH LIE


Also TEXT the word "TODAY" to 30644 to become part of the John Edwards campaign. Do it. He actually had rainbow bumper stickers. Kinda thoughtful.

I've saved some sunlight
if you should ever need
a place away from darkness
where your mind can feed.
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Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
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Make today COUNT.
Go to to find the phone numbers of your Senators and Representative.

Bill Nelson 202 224 5274

Kathy Castor 202 225 3376 (UPDATED NUMBER)

Mel Martinez 202224 3041

Send a letter to the St.Pete Times
I don't care what you talk about but keep sending letters until they publish one. They're very selective with WHOM they publish because I see the same names over and over. Don't let a few people speak for ALL of us.

And call your congressman and talk to her of Inherent Contempt. Do it. And hug everyone you can reach.

North Jersey JUST DOIN it.

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Bush Business (two states moving to convene grand juries)
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The City of Tampa and it's assorted city-sanctioned gang members need this property because it's in the middle of land they intend to develop for gambling facilities.
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Terrorist,"Cause" and Gang Stalking Perpetrated by Tampa Firemen and other Firemen -- revealed and written about.

Some more threats from Tampa firemen (we'll just drive by your burning house if we know who you are) no kidding? I would NEVER have guessed that !
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More mention of Firefighter and Police participation in gang-stalking
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